My Kids

Ever since New Year's Eve when my kids met Tody they have been obsessed with asking me about him.

It's so nice knowing that my awesome kids think Tody is great too. It makes having double work nights easy. Although working there is a lot more interesting than our nights alone. My artsy-fartsy mini me was amazing at light painting. Tody and I want to adopt her onto our light painting team. She gives such a fresh perspective to our shots.

 I really do watch the greatest kids ever. They are so sweet and honest and intuitive. They are curious and idealistic yet have this sarcastic mature view on life. They have a really strong single mom who gives them everything she has to give. And I think that makes them an incredibly tight-knit little family. 

Kellan is my little assassin. He's going through a violent streak conveniently as he is also going through a super-freaking-adorable phase. Who can be mad at that little face?

 

He's quite the bad ass. Listening to him sing along to Young, Wild, and Free made me almost pee my pants. Being the youngest of three is a blessing in disguise. He's going to be the coolest kid in school once he finally starts. He can pick up any nerf gun and instantly know how to use it... and shoot me in like 3 seconds.

I love being a nanny. I can get my little kid fix while staying financially free during my 20s.

Random

So I have taken up crocheting. I used to like to knit, but I grew out of that little hobby. It seemed easier for me to carry around a little hook instead if big needles. And Mr. Prez also sort of pushed me to it. But it is relaxing. I haven't been able to create anything even remotely usable yet... but I'm hanging in there. Youtube is an amazing tutorial resource. 

I hung out with the family last night. We got some cool pictures and had some great laughs. 

It's been an interesting past couple of days. I'll have more to say tomorrow probably. I'm just enjoying the randomness of life quietly for right now. 

 

Check out more great pics from that night!

Making Some Changes

So it is a new year. I don't like when people go with the mantra "new year - new me", it just irks me. Why so much change? It's hard enough to remember that I need to date everything '12 and not '11 anymore. And supposedly this is the last year ever? Pshhh.. Life goes on.

But I have found myself making changes in 2012, although I would like to think those changes started before that. It is just now all showing results and amping me up to keep going. I didn't make any resolutions this year because the word confuses me. Re Solution... that implies your first solution to whatever problem you had didn't work, and you need to re think that and make a new solution. And we are supposed to implement that solution at midnight of the new year to make the rest of the year better than the last. To solve whatever was broken and wrong with the last year...

Well I have many issues. And I am constantly trying to fix them and come up with solutions and re solutions (so to speak)... That is part of my day to day life. So I didn't see the point in one big sweeping gesture to sum up my goals for the upcoming year.

But I guess if I had to make one underlining goal for the year : Be Relentless.
I have a lot of shit to get done this year, I can't stop for a second. I keep finding new inspiration and new motivation. 2011 is in the past, and although there was so much amazingness jammed into those 365 days, I have another 365 days to concentrate on and go farther in.

I'm A Sponge

So I have fully given up on my online aversion. Semi forced at first, but now I am drunk from the free flowing creativity that seeps from every new site I find. Tody likes to call me the social networking Queen. It comes naturally to me. I find it a little stressful to keep up with. Every site is like its own puzzle that I have to crack. I search to find the perfect sequence of steps that gets me the most out of each different site. I try to minimize my fluff time... as I think of it. I've had to really cut back on surfing gawker sites and random shops unless I am pinning. Or making treasuries. It's been difficult trying to stay focused all the time but you have to if you want to have time to make an impact. You need the best pics, the funniest quotes, the most insightful tweets, the most interesting updates, the trendiest tags, ect... Every online interest have its own subcultural that comes along with a whole community and demographic. As an artist and an entrepreneur it is becoming increasingly important for me to learn how to please all of these people that I never knew existed before.

I have always been a local girl. And I still hold that very dear to me. I love my home and firmly believe in supporting local businesses and putting effort and care back into the community that raised you. But I am starting to find artists all over the world that I look up to and find inspiration from. I listen to a podcast from Tennessee. I am completely in love with blogs from the east coast and the UK and I have been drooling over Esty shops from all over the world. There are like minded artists everywhere that I can learn from.

And that's what I have been doing... Learning. Lately I have been really looking up on branding. It is not my strong point. I need to work on it. And hopefully over the next few weeks I will really make strides in making all my sites align and be coherent in my branding and style. It's a huge process and I really have to stay vigilant. I can't let myself surf, I can't let myself get discouraged by no comments or no likes.

But that is hard.

I Feel Out Right RAGE-ous

Have you ever felt frustrated with someone but not over anything you feel like you can bring up? The issue never gets resolved and you're left praying the problem just disappears over time like a pimple. And who knows why you can't talk to them, the problem is too minor, the person is too major, whatever. It never really matters in the end what the issue was or what is holding you back from vocalizing it, it sucks all the same.

I am not afraid of confrontation. I just don't like to resort to that til it is the last viable option. I think it is normal to feel ashamed of our feelings of annoyance and frustration towards others. Especially the closer they are to you. No one likes being mad at someone they are usually elated to be around. Or maybe it is just me. Most people I know are shorter tempered than I and have no problem showing anger when they feel extreme emotions. But I feel bad, even when I am legitimately livid at a situation or person, when I show my rage outwardly. Like I don't have the right to get angry for some reason.

It is odd how my attitude shifts the less and less I care about you. That sounds terrible, but it is true. I am much more likely to tell someone I just met or don't know that I am pissed off at them than Mr. Prez or Tody. That's usually when people know I am done with them in my life when I can guilt free go off on them for everything I feel was unjust. Maybe it was the years of cycling through friends like they were fashion trends in grade school that has made me so timidly loyal today. I couldn't keep a best friend to save my life growing up, partially because the second I felt wronged I lashed out unproportionately worse right back. Or I would just self sabotage myself before that person could hurt me. Then something snapped around my senior year and all my relationships in my life took a complete 180.

Which is not bad, I am working on 3 years being part of a crazy/wonderful duo with Tody, and the spectacular Mr. Prez and I met 2 years ago next month. E is still going strong and I have a wonderful support system of friends here around me that I periodically add to. I haven't lost a friend since I tried living with one, and that's ok. I've found someone who can handle my crazy and still enjoy my company. So I guess I should just stop being mad and remember that more often.

Forever Procrastinating

I have been painting all of these drawings. ...slowly... Very very slowly it seems. I can't seem to paint very fast. Especially not with watercolors. I can think of a drawing in a split second, and usually get it on paper in a day or so, but getting it colorful takes so much time. And it usually doesn't turn out how I envisioned it.

Sometimes I have ruined my piece and other times I have made something spectacular I never knew I could create. It's pretty much just a blind gamble half the time.

But I make it time and time again. The kids I watch have been watching me draw and now paint these and they are teasing me more and more as the time passes and I haven't finished even one. I just can't seem to get them right. I get frustrated with the water amount or the color, or the runny ink, whatever. Then I move on to something else to distract myself. So it's like I take baby steps each night on all my pieces and in the rare occurrence I actually complete one the elation is overshadowed by the looming pile of unfinished works.   

I've been in the worst mood lately. These headaches have sadly gotten the best of me I am afraid. I think it might be time for me to visit the Dr again. Mommy Dearest gave me her Discount Prescription card so I can get something for my migraines that's more affordable. So hopefully my Imatrex wont break the bank.

I'm trying to stay on top of things. But it's really difficult taking care of everything in my life and with my growing business when I have to take what seems like constant breaks to ice my neck and lay down in the dark. It makes for a cranky artist, girlfriend, partner, and cook... I'm sorry guys.

It May Not Look Pretty, But It's Special

Thank you to Tody for uploading my paper experiment pictures! Pretty sure these were with his fixie lens (as I like to call it). My paper is drying slowly in my living room. I can't wait to make cards out of some of it.

There are two sheets that are just too thin to do much with. I don't know, I will have to find something special for them. The thicker paper turned out better because after I pretty much stood on it with a Sham Wow and a book on top to get more water out it has flattened out quite a bit and it's perfect for making cards. All I will have to do it mount them on a nice piece of index paper or card stock. I might even use just plain old construction paper if it dries strong enough. 

I think business cards on homemade paper would be so interesting. Certainly something to try.  I'm definitely not giving up on paper making. Although I have plenty of new ideas for how to make it go smoother next time. I went the cheapest route possible this time and if I put in a little more effort with the construction of my paper mold/mesh thingy the whole process would go smoother. 

 

I tried my damnedest to keep my kitchen mess free this time, I used a lot of news paper to shield my table from paper pulp splatters. But of course since it was a Kona & Tody production it was still a mild disaster. My beloved blender - may he rest in peace - is now making mango margaritas in blender heaven. So my paper making experiments have to be put on hold until I find another one.

But I am super excited for the paper I have to completely dry. They aren't bright or all that pretty to look at yet. But they are earthy and interesting and will make great backgrounds. Stay tuned :)

Now You See Me, Soon You Won't

So I realized I never gave you guys a finished picture of my hair. After all that complication with Tody I ended up fixing it all myself, and I didn't get around to taking pictures until much later. So here I am! 

That's date me, and below is at work me... There's a huge difference. I don't think the pups care what I wear or how pretty my hair is, so I don't usually even give myself that much time before work. I have too much going on here online these days. It's severely cut into my in front of the mirror time. And my laundry time, and my apt cleaning time... I have been seriously slacking off. But it is so hard to juggle adult life and my child like need to create. But I am managing. Somehow, for now.

Tody and I made paper yesterday. And just as I predicted it did not go as planned. But I have 4 sheets of one of a kind, handmade paper drying in my living room. So we'll see if it was worth it. If they don't turn out good I really will be heart broken. I will have given up my beloved birthday blender for nothing. So hopefully something magical will come of these brownish grey sheets.

I'm working on listings for my Shop today. I don't walk pups this weekend so hopefully that will leave me open to be insanely productive, We'll see...

Shrooming

I'm not high, I swear. I'm just feeling a little extra appreciative of natures cute little fungi today. I've been noticing tons of little mushrooms everywhere when I'm walking my pups. And they make for interesting macro shots. I like the slight bokeh I get from my point and shoot lens.

It's nothing compared to Tody's new lens though. He got it yesterday and he shot some cool Christmas bokehs! Check them out.  He's going to bring it over today to document our paper making experiments. I can't wait.

I have been trying to think of ways I can integrate my drawings and doodles into my upcycling shop and I think I finally found a way. I want to start making my own paper! I've found an awesome tutorial on Youtube that I want to try and we'll see if this is something else I can add to my craft collection. I'm excited. Making paper looks so fun, and the possibilities are endless, which is what attracted me to the idea in the first place. You can use anything to make your own paper; cardboard, newspaper, fabric, bark, seeds, grass, paint, glitter, cards, magazines, pictures, yarn, tin foil, tissue paper, dried leaves, flowers, even dirt! You can use anything that can be blended. You can put literally anything you can think of in your concoction to give it new texture and color. I find that fascinating! I love experimenting.

Who knows, I might make some really earthy paper and put some dried mushrooms in it and call it Shroom Paper!

So that's what Tody and I will be up to today. Hopefully there will also be time for some online work too. I have to hook up my printer/scanner so I can get going on changing up the Blog. I have been hard at work lately hand drawing buttons and banners and whatnot to update the site. I want the Blog to match up better with my Etsy shop. But it's a long arduous process. And I'm discovering typography may not be my strong suit, however much I love it. And no matter how many times Mr. Prez and Tody tell me I should really be doing this all on the computer, I don't care. I am lost when it comes to Photoshop. If I can't make it in the camera RAW editor then I don't know how to do it. That is all I do to my photos... I barely open Photoshop, I am a Bridge girl.
 

So check back soon! I will have a - probably amusing - post about our paper making adventures up as soon as I can. I'm sure it will be more messy, loud, eventful, fun, and even more complicated than I'm expecting. Who knows... maybe we'll try our hand at our own photo tutorial for paper!

It Ain't That NewNew

So as promised! Here is some art. Not really new. Although it is new to most of you. Tody finally scanned some of my sketches so I could start getting them online. I'm thinking about getting some of them printed so I can frame them in some upcycled frames and sell them through my Etsy!

They were going to be the start to my Tumblr, but I had a different idea that will lend itself better to that layout. Hopefully that will be up and running either this evening or tomorrow. I'm hoping to get it done today since it is my short day with the pups and tomorrow I have art plans with my partner in crime.

Which if you haven't seen our latest pictures, check them out!  They turned out amazing and it was a blast to go to our old elementary school and run around in the dark. It was great being there with Tody since that used to be our exact stomping grounds! That's where we met. That's where the dynamic duo first began, although back then we were not as close and it was more about causing destruction and less about adding beauty. It actually wasn't until after we had graduated that Kona & Tody were born and we discovered we were meant to make art together.

Tody is getting his new lens soon. He got an early Christmas present; a 50mm f/1.8 lens.. Can you tell I copied and pasted that from his facebook? I have no idea about lenses, or camera's, or anything technical. I would be lost without him and Mr. Prez. You know, that's probably why I am so attracted to technical people. That is where I am significantly lacking. That is why my job fits me so well. No batteries required!

Except in my point and shoot, which I almost always take on my walks. There is so much to see outside, but I usually find myself shooting my dogs. Some of them I just find beautiful and it's like they were meant to be behind my lens.

Tody and I decided the Sidehounds I walk are amazing. They are so sweet and gentle and amazingly handsome dogs. They don't bark that often and they just look like they came straight from a movie set. They walk tall and sit pretty like show dogs. They make my work day go by super fast. Our walks always seem just a little too short.

So new new stuff soon! I found a printer with  a scanner, so hopefully the time between getting a piece finished and getting it on the computer will shorten. It needs to! I have drawings from almost a year a go I still haven't found the time to scan. I need to get on it.
Love you guys!!

Sitting In Front of The Fire

...not really. I'm sitting with my feet against my small space heater. It's freezing this early in the morning! I don't want to go in my warm bed with my warm Mr. Prez though... I won't want to get out of it in an hour or so for work! I know myself. So it's just safer to stay up when I get home from my night job until I have to go to work again. And I just couldn't will myself to go to the store this morning for creamer or juice or anything, so I don't have anything to drink, but hopefully that will force me to leave early for work to grab something...

I made jewelry with the kids I watch last night. It was fun. It was a little over the 4 year old's head but he liked my sparkly plastic beads I had left over from some past Relay For Life event. I've been trying really hard to bring more art over to my night job. I need to utilize all the extra time I have now that I have my shop up and running. I need to be constantly producing and experimenting and creating. And it will be good for me.

Usually once I get past the initial laziness of not even grabbing my stuff to take with me it's pretty easy to make myself work when I have it. But now even that is getting hard. I have a pretty cushy job, most night's I don't even see the kids I'm getting paid to watch. They are already in bed for school in the morning. I only see them two nights a week most normal weeks. So you would think with all that free time and quiet space to myself I would be incredibly productive, not so much. Her calm house is a little too calming at times and my new bed time has become 9pm! It's a physical fight with myself to make myself alert after 10pm. Unless I am already heavily caffeinated I just can't keep my focus there for more than an hour or two. So needless to say I am still working on the same watercolors I have been chugging along on for weeks and I only made one new piece of jewelry last night!

I guess last night was an exception because I should have known as soon as I broke out the beads my little crafty girl would be all up in my grill. The sight of my collection made her stop in the middle of a sentence! Being 11 means not having nice things yet. Yet you're old enough to want for them. I'll probably let her make something for herself. Last night she spent all her time oohing and aahing over single beads then meticulously putting them back where she found them.
 

All these necklaces can be found in my shop! Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot.

Tree Thoughts

My migraines are officially back. I've been trying to fight through them for about 2 weeks now, but yesterday I had to cancel plans because I just couldn't bring myself to get off the couch. I felt like someone was pulling my hair really hard and it made it hard to even open my eyes. This happens every year. Seasonal migraines... which often leads to seasonal depression and unmotivation and lack of self esteem since there is a lack of creating. It is hard to deny that my art is my life when it is so integral to my mood and general self worth. I don't feel like I am myself when I am depressed. I am some lesser, inadequate, unattractive, usually much more rude version of me. And I hate it. So since I am aware that my migraines often facilitate my depression I am trying really hard to not let it happen this season. I have too much going on. I don't have a day off, I don't have the time to waste being any less than my best right now. 

I have been feeling a lot better in the past few months. I was really hoping to avoid these headaches all together this year. I thought I might get my wish earlier this month, but I think it was the odd late summer we got here in the Northwest that gave me false hope. Usually the fall season hits us, as it should, in Mid September. But this year we were having summer days all the way up to mid November! Our winter just started, most of us haven't even had a chance to see snow yet.

 

 I have felt the coldness creep in though. Since I am out walking pups for at least an hour every day I am starting to yearn for Spring when everything starts getting new growth again. Nearly all of the Autumn leaves have fallen and are turning to dark brown mush on the sides of the roads. So the few chances the sun does show it's face there is no avoiding it. It shines through all the dead looking trees and glistens off all the wet rotting leaves on the ground making outside unbearably bright when you compare it to how unbearably cold it is. When there is that much light outside it really needs to be warmer. 

Now the only trees that are left looking alive are all the trees that look like Christmas trees. So no matter where you go there is always a subtle subconscious reminder that this month you are going to be broke. Since that is honestly what Christmas means once you hit 19 years old.. It's just another month you still have to pay rent, an extra large power bill, internet, and you have to go out and blow tons of money on gifts and shit for the holidays.

So I decided to distract myself from all these tree thoughts I have by painting. I've been noticing all these perfect little places to paint. Like I have stumbled upon a natural unused frame! Well... the first one I found wasn't natural. Someone had carved out a rectangle of bark from a tree and I just couldn't resist painting it really fast.  Turned out pretty shitty but I was rushing with a hand cut stencil on paper and some rough acrylic paint.  I just needed something to brighten up my cold gloomy day.