...

Do you ever get that feeling that if something doesn't change everything around you is going to simply implode? Every move you make is like tip toeing across a thin glass ceiling, and every word you even think of uttering is thoroughly thought out and rehearsed. I know I'm not the only one who feels like that sometimes.

I guess the only thing to do then is get away.

Winter Wonderland

It's been beautiful outside lately. Has anyone else noticed that? The air has been crisp, the clouds have been rich, and the sunsets and rises have been intense. Even the moonlight has been able to cast dramatic shadows lately.

Maybe it's all in the beholder, but there seems to be an energy in the air lately...

Event Horizon

A spatial boundary around a black hole inside which gravity is strong enough to prevent all matter and radiation from escaping. The inability of even light to escape this region is what gives black holes their name.


The point of no return.

Everyone's is different, that event that changes you. That point where there is no going back because the person before ceased to exist. 


"If you had crossed it, that event horizon, how would you know?"
"Because... you would be ripped apart, molecule by molecule..."

This Side Up

Life seems fragile right now.
We should all treat each other with care while we ring in 2010.
This year's been rough.

Turn Around, We're Back On Eachother

The more I let out, the more I need to.

What's left?

You're Already The Voice Inside My Head

Today's the last day before Winter break...
This first semester can't be summed up in a word, or even in a list of words. My feels are in constant motion, revolving around both good and bad emotions. There were more tears and cold sweat than I anticipated. Less all-night art binges than I was expecting (thankfully). And more laughter than probably necessary, at times.

I wonder what this new set of classes will unleash.

Brrr

This cold weather seems to have everyone freaking out. But I sort of enjoy the frigid temperature. I don't know if it is the fact that it is too cold to space out or the all the ice crystals in the air making it easier to see, but everything seems crisper. The water looks cleaner, the trees (that kept their leaves) twinkle in the sunlight since it never gets above freezing. Sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking with the pinks and oranges. And the mountains resemble cliched Pacific Northwest postcards.  

Design Elements

LINE

     P

   ATT

  ERNS..

PERSPECTIVE

G#0M#TRY

Fuck

You know that feeling you get when you know you're being self destructive? You're avoiding something hard and you know putting it off is just going to make it worse... yet you still let the time pass by. Or when you keep trying the same thing over and over again even though you know you're going to get the same result again and again.

We all do that at some time in our life, in some way.

One would think once you stopped lying to yourself and you realized you were just being self destructive, you would be able to stop.

Maybe my brain is just over thinking and hyper aware because of all this Nietzsche and Krishnamurti bullshit... I'm glad it's almost over. Maybe that's why I've been the super bitch of the century.

Right... Here's a picture

This is what I do like about my school.

Home

I love Seattle. I think everyone who knows me in any way at any level knows that about me. I love the art you can find haphazardly stuck to any and all touchable surfaces. I love the adorable enthusiasm of almost everyone you meet. I even have a soft spot for the sporadic and nonsensical one way streets that make up this hilly city. 
Pike's Place may be a huge tourist attraction... but it's for the locals at heart. The majority of the gum on the brick wall in the alley are from Seattle mouths, we know exactly when to get our doughnuts so we don't have to stand in that line that winds practically down the stairs. We know when to avoid the overlook park because the sad genocide people are protesting. The fish smell barely registers as we easily navigate through the holiday standing-room-only crowds.
And we know which performers are worth the pause, and which sellers can entertain just as well.

 Whitney Mongé

Sorry Krishnamurti,

But life is meaningless without goals. Whether you believe life is circular and constantly revolving, or that it is linear with one foot in front of the other, you are still in motion. You are still moving toward something. Either you picked where you're going, or you've left the future up to fate. But there is always something next.
Goals keep us going, they keep our attention and effort. Small, daily, unimportant, or life-altering, all-consuming, and imperative, everyone has different goals for their life. Creativity is in the attainment of those goals. Not letting anyone raise question or ridicule, distract or dissuade you.

My goal?
Stay close to the love of my life. Constantly observe and document all that I see and add to the beauty I encounter there.

No Visual Aide

Everyone is unfinished. That means we all have flaws; some deep and unmistakable, while others can be subtle and easy to glance over. Our flaws in some ways define us. They conquer us everyday. Fear, dishonesty, prejudice, pride, resentment, regret...  The only way to push forward through those paralyzing feelings is to let them go.
Tell someone everything you're scared of. Tell them the truth. Let their advise and opinion in without shutting down, without guarding yourself. They aren't trying to see you fail,  let them hear about all your sorrows and then you can let it go.
It took me a long time to realize that by telling another person all the hurt you hold inside it doesn't simply transfer into them. By putting words to your feelings you're releasing them between you. You're letting that person experience a little of what you went through, what you keep hidden from those you don't trust. And it helps. Laughter helps, smiles help, asking for help... helps.    

Wish You Would Step Out From That Ledge, My Friend

Self worth. It's a hard concept to fully grasp. A lot of people are more than lacking in the self worth department these days. I found myself saying almost just that to someone today, and I'm right, but it takes one to know one. When you have low self esteem you hear all those comments that others let slip by without a thought. You recognize tones in their voices and the rosy blush of their abashed cheeks. Everyone feels self conscious now and again, but some people are stuck in it. Some people have been hurt, humiliated, lied to, lead on, trapped, tortured, abused, or they are just all alone.

 But no one is really alone. We're all just a bunch of moving cells. They have to work together inside of us for us to function, let that be a metaphor for life. Be there for each other, because it's sometimes those that feel unworthy that just need to be shown their worth for them to blossom. 

Restless

Some things are like a fungus on your brain. As soon as the idea plants itself there's nothing getting rid of it.

Those thoughts that you can't shake; the doubtful, vain, selfish, self conscious ideas that roll around our heads all day long. The film that rolls on the back of your eyelids while you're trying to sleep.

If anyone knows how to get rid of the brain fungus that keeps us all up at night, clue me in.

I Know One Thing; That I Love You

Today will be good.

Everyone should take a few minutes out of their day today and listen to "Say Hey (I  Love You)" by Michael Franti & Spearhead. It is a great way to start your day...

Move Along

Fall didn't last too long this year. By now most of the leaves have fallen and been mushed into the ground. The passionate vivid colors that gave fall its new school year push have given way to bleak brown-grey tree limbs and that down to the the bone chill that comes with frosty mornings. Morning routines change to incorporate warmer food and scraping the ice off your windshield. Time moves a bit slower and a little faster at the same time. Winter begins the mad rush to Spring. 

But Fall was too short for my liking. I need a little of that in your face Fall ferver to get me back in the homework mood.

Until Next Time

"We made it!"

"But for how much longer?"

Redefinition

Black Friday doesn't have to be bad.
Black isn't death, it's all the colors together. Doesn't it make more sense for white to be evil and black to be good? White just reflects light, but black is welcoming.

Please be safe, treat cashiers like they are people and not evil robots sent to steal Christmas.
Don't push and shove. 

Drive Safe

Happy Thanksgiving.

Trash That

I love art that reuses old materials. Mixed media, recycled art, folk art, environmental art, revolutionary art, Arte Povera, all of it. 

Creative reuse... with every little piece made of garbage, cheaper, greener (although I hate the hippy connotation that word has now), and more involved. Acquiring enough shit to make this happen takes time, effort and devotion. It's passionate, a way to connect to your art that can't be achieved when the materials you are using are inside your computer or mixed and processed by others. 

I love a lot of genres of art, but this is what I want to create.

All-involving, time consuming, and undoubtedly annoying... 

Alternative Life Forms

Why don't people trust nature anymore? 

{Sick/Nasty}

Live and Let Live

Our body is our home. We have to live in it every day. And there are those who hate what they have and there are the ones who take for granted what many don't have. Our constant need to improve our self - for any reason - is normal. Only you have control over your body, and whatever you choose to do to it is on you.

[photo credit: Erica Knight]

Our bodies may be our presentation, but that doesn't take away our control over our self. To live in the same place your whole life takes adjustments. We're stuck in this one body, it's only natural to want to make it exactly how we want it.

And that's no one's business except our own...

Undesirable Event, Lucky Happening, or a Divine Act

This wasn't supposed to happen.

It's an accident.

But accidents are rarely good. So cherish the ones that are; they are more like little miracles. 

I think I'm back....

I Have A Sadness Shield, It's Big Enough For All of Us

I saw a new movie today.

I loved the book, and I liked the movie, but I adore the message;

"let the wild rumpus begin!"

Take a flying leap into life.

Life in High Contrast

For the first time I'm actually working at my fullest. Perhaps not at my fullest potential, but I believe that can be difficult to find on your own. But I am trying my best. People usually can't find their true potential until either someone challenges them and fills them with a sense of competition and drive, or simply when someone shows that person they are worth more, has access to more, can grasp more. I don't know why it is often so hard for people to get that feeling on their own. Maybe because we can't live without personal comparisons. Everyday everyone makes thousands of absentminded self comparisons. We see another person on the street that walks taller, straighter, and with more pride than us and we compare. Flipping through magazines we compare our bodies, our accomplishments, our salary, our environment, our upbringing. Standing on the top of a mountain, we compare our infinite size difference.
Is life only perspective, proximity, comparisons?

I hope not. That is a depressing thought that makes so many just sleep through life.
Life is what you make it - removed from any and all comparisons to other people and their lives, because no one could ever make all the same mistakes as you.

A Change of Pace

Winter chills give me a sense of motivation. Maybe it is the cold that makes it so difficult to stop moving, or the approaching  holidays that linger in my mind giving me the drive to go forward. Either way the windy, grey months always seem to go by quicker for me.

I have to cherish every speedy shot at beauty I can get.

Falling Down

Signs of the fall season:

I love this time of year.

 

Go with gravity.

Accept the flow.

TGIF

I'm filled with a sense of adventure today.

I have a list of things to do...

We'll see how much I can get accomplished on this fresh fall day.

Doing the Impossible

Nothing in life is free, at least not the things worth having. Free is thoughtless, cheap is easy, hard is strengthening, but it is the things you believe are impossible that are the real gems in life. When a person believes something is unreachable, that instantly makes whatever that is treasure. Purity, perfection, they are both impossible. That is why when you are in a moment that feels like pure bliss it is human nature to have the intense urgency to hold onto that feeling. We never know when life is going to let us have that happiness again, if ever. But it's really not up to life. It is up to us. We have to make bliss for ourselves everyday. Surround yourself with love, adoration (going both ways of course), excitement, mystery, pleasure, wonderment, adventure... everything that you feel drawn to.

Determination is what keeps people from having once in a life time feelings only once in their life.

Good Feelings

Life's a party.

Live widely and celebrate everything.

No Picture

I don't know where true cruelty comes from. I get angry at people and I lash out, but I never act purely cruel to people I don't know. Yet it happens everyday by so many others. It looks to me like it should be easy because so many others can be thoughtlessly cruel. But I don't understand the desire. Pain is universal, it feels the same to everyone. Race, religion, nationality, sexuality... None of that matters when you hurt someone.

And just because more than a few people all share an opinion does not mean it is anywhere near true. Judge a situation on the events that occur not popular belief, judge a human on their actions and heart not foolish gossip and idiotic rumors. Perpetuating ignorant stereotypes makes you just that: Ignorant.

Which way do you choose to live?

Speaking of...

ruckus.

Love where you live.

Pieces of Peace

The layout of your life has to be one that you are happy with. The people you surround yourself with, to the flavors you ingest should make you feel peaceful.

For some people peace is chaos, ruckus, and pretty much living life in an insane, tumultuous way. But for others they find bliss in the calm harmony of organization and order. Which ever you happen to be, there are at least a hundred other people out there who also share your philosophy.

Friendly Fire

.

When you get angry at a friend it's like you are almost angry at yourself. 

They mean so much to you.

You get so frustrated at what they are doing,

   and how you should have tried harder to knock some sense into them.

Saying "I told you so" never makes me feel any better.

 

So I usually just keep my mouth shut.

But that's why we're all friends.

And I wouldn't trade that for anything.